kai-ni:

greglestrade:

some customers: oh my god i’m so sorry i have to ask you a question i feel so foolish for not knowing this already please help me but i’m so sorry forgive me

other customers: answer this question before i’ve even asked it or i’ll kill you where you stand 

#1 has worked in retail

#2 hasn’t

lesbianshepard:

lesbianshepard:

what did these penguins do to the scientists to deserve this

researcher: okay so we’re calling these “african penguins” because it lives in africa

penguin: bites researcher

researcher: hey fucker guess what new idea